If The Notebook is one of your favorite movies, and you believe, like I do, that “Love Is Everything,” then here’s one for you. It’s about finding that beloved companion to share your life with. Most of us don’t find what Noah and Ally found at first — although we might think we have. But if we believe in love, learn from life, and keep on tryin’ ’til we understand and find it; then it will set our hearts on fire, shine its light within our spirit, and then become the missing pieces of the puzzle that we didn’t know existed. We may do the relationship dance with scores of partners before falling into the arms of our forever. If we settle, delude ourselves, or give up on our dream before we find it; then we may never walk beside the one we love. Sometimes this means accepting that what we thought would last a lifetime is only temporary — moving us one step closer to the other half of home. Life lessons, helping others, and higher purposes can form our stepping stones to love. It is important that these stones don’t become the islands to which our lives take root and fasten.
I would much rather spend one month, one year, or ten years with someone I really love than a lifetime with anyone else. We never know when we’ll be leaving this life anyway. It could happen at any moment for any reason without notice — and often does. So it seems like we should share it with the one we really love — however long its earth-time grace is granted. I believe each of our lives exists so we can live real, or heart-centered love to the fullest, and by doing so raise vibrations all around us. In one of the seven other lives I remember — as Rhonan in Scotland — my first love, Rebeccah, was my one and only love. In this life, as Kai, I have yet to find her. What follows are visions of me, the flowers of my relationships, and the intoxicating colors whispered through them — as seen through the eyes of my heart and friends who love me. Perhaps they will ring true for you too, or fall like scarlet flags from somewhere deep within your memory when you need them.
As with most healers, wounded souls are drawn to me, and their wounded parts, at first, might be invisible. One of my friends said it this way, “them being with you could become like a drug for them, and when it wears away, their instability emerges. I could imagine that it may not be clear to see this in the beginning–as you bring out the best in them and see the best in them.” Another said “You always connect with them in spirit first — you see the light in everyone — and sometimes miss the things that lurk within the shadows of their human personality.” Related to this is the fact that I keep the vibration of my consciousness high, and so the lower vibrational things go undetected beneath the frequencies of love (beneath the higher vibrational radar). Someone else reflected, “You see the good in everyone, because this is where you look — and because your light is shining in and all around them.” But this is who I Am, and who I always want to be — so how can I live in light and love, and yet detect deception looming in the shadows?
Detecting Deception While Looking For Love
Here are some ways to detect deception, during the search for our beloved, while continuing to live in higher consciousness.
- Broaden Scope of Awareness to Incorporate Lower Vibrations During Prescribed Evaluation Period: When we live in higher consciousness — seeing love and above through the eyes of our heart and spirit — and we’re planning to look for love in someone new; we should broaden our awareness to include vibrations that would otherwise go un-noticed. If we don’t, then we’ll only see the good in them, and miss the things, if present, that provide a balanced view. Broadening the range of our perception would be a conscious and intentional choice — for a specified evaluation period. It would be temporary and mindfully orchestrated. There would be no risk of losing ourselves in it, or reason to fear exposure to its view.
- Obtain Compatibility Reading from Competent Vedic Astrologer: If we’ve spent some time with someone, allowed ourselves to see them for who they really are, and still want to be with them; then it might be time to obtain a compatibility reading from an experienced Vedic astrologer. Find someone with at least 20 years experience whose training you can verify who was recommended by someone you respect and trust. Here’s a link to mine. He has 35+ years experience as a master astrologer, counselor, and coach. When I’ve used him, it’s really helped. When I’ve chosen not to, or forgotten about it; I’ve missed out on valuable insights that would have shown me things I clearly didn’t see (or maybe didn’t want to see). If you contact him, as part of your companion search, you’ll want to request a Comprehensive Compatibility Reading.
- Take Your Time: Come on now, we all know about this one, right? It’s just that we so often want to ignore the things we know, and plunge ahead into the same addictions and illusions formed by drinks and drugs and unfulfilling sex. The illusion of love can definitely become an addiction. But if we take our time — really take our time — we can mitigate its madness with discernment of the things we’ve overlooked.
- Ask Friends Who Know and Love Us: Our intimate friends — those who know and love us — may see some things in us or others that we’re too lost behind our blinded eyes to see. Most of us have patterns that kick in once we engage our hearts in the ever-lovin’ dance. Like near-sightedness, or far-sightedness; we could call this infatuation-based condition “sweet-sightedness!” From it, everything may be glazed with rainbow sprinkles — sugar coated — especially the one we’re crazy for, crave completely, and want to kiss our way inside! Our sweet-sighted view may paint them perfect, as if our “Love” could do no wrong. Red flags could fall forgotten behind the psychedelic fireworks in their eyes. We might make everything seem exactly like we want it to be — without really knowing what it is — and do our best to block what shows us otherwise. Patterns like these often occur automatically, without our conscious knowledge of the kaleidoscopic hue we’re looking through. So if our real friends — those who know us who we can trust to not take advantage of us for their own personal gain — have seen us do the same things over and over, or are seeing something obvious; then maybe they can help us see it too! So we should ask them, and consider their perspectives when they offer us their love through painful truth! And you know exactly what I mean, don’t you. How many times have we ignored the things we didn’t want to see, and then years or decades later try to find the broken pieces of our hearts? Maybe we needed to go through it — for our growth — but maybe this is a lesson we could have understood a long, long time ago. To me it makes sense to at least consider what our friends have to say — with the understanding that they’re biased in the direction of our protection, and there’s a lot that they don’t know. But there’s also a lot that they do know, and they’re not lost within the spell of our enchanted fairy dust!
- Create Companion Checklist and Use It as a Flexible Guide to Deal Breakers and Quality Standards: In an earlier post, “Dating for Love,” most referenced experts recommended the creation and regular use of a dating checklist. “It is healthy to have a dating checklist to know what you’re looking for,” says licensed psychologist Dr. Wyatt Fisher. “Research shows the more couples have in common on the things that matter most to them, the more likely they’ll have a successful relationship.” Dating checklists can take many forms, and, I believe, work best when they’re creative reflections of who we are. You could also think of them as companion profiles — describing preferred characteristics, needed interests, quality standards, and deal breakers. We can create them as poetry, playlists, photos, videos, email messages, lists, or whatever. If we have friends who have offered to help us in our search, then we could share our companion profiles with them too. We might even put more into our checklist when we know we’ll be sharing it with somebody else. I believe they should be used as a general guide, or focusing tool — with priorities forming their flexibility — not as all-or-nothing, piano key conclusions. Aside from our deal breakers, the time we spend together should paint the picture of compatibility.
I, myself, fancy companion profiles as pre-date selection, post-date reflection, and screening committee tools. As a higher-vibrational healer who sees the good in everyone, and sometimes doesn’t see the rest; I have a cadre of comrades determined to help me find the woman of my dreams, and by doing so protect me from myself, LOL! One of them asked for some guiding information, and from her request, in the form of an email message, emerged my own companion profile. If you want to check it out, please email me for the password. I had originally prepared it as an email containing descriptions of my beloved companion, myself, my preferred love and lifestyle, my family lovestyle, and a YouTube playlist depicting — through acoustic watercolors — my ways of living love. I decided to leave it in this email format when sharing with the rest of those involved, and for my own personal use. So feel free to use mine as a model for yours — or as a starting point for your own unique creation. And, damn Girl, if you’re here at my site reading this, then you may yourself be searching, be into higher love and living, be holding out for something beautiful and real! If so, then please do me the honor of considering my profile, and reaching out to me if it finally seems to fit! Why not? How better to connect than as two like-minded romantics searching patiently for a higher kind of love?
So that’s how I’m endeavoring to do it — to detect deception while looking for love. If you always see the good in people, and keep getting taken advantage of as a result; then maybe my friends and I can keep you safer too! Feel free to share your experiences, perspectives, or checklists as comments to this post.
“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That’s what I hope to give you forever.”
— Noah from The Notebook
Photo credit: New Line Cinema
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- Falling In Love With Potential
- Love Consciousness
- Balanced Love
- Seven Colors Of Companionship
- Higher Love And Sweeter Sex
- Love Is Everything
- Sex And Love
- Chakratic Hierarchy Of Needs
- Calla Lily Moonshine (a Poem)
- Beautiful Tonight (a Song)
- Homecoming (an Allegory)
- Focus Pocus (a Short Story)