As universal light effervescently vibrates joy and radiance, as the galactic sun dances with red dwarves, blue giants, and purple nebulas along the way; as earth’s star brings perspective, climatic shelter, and life to the rays’ recipients; so too our spirit shines the truth for us to see. If we focus where the light shines, we will become aware of what is in it — we will awaken to the truth that it reveals. As we awaken further, so does the universe, through our interconnection with the oneness of it all.
Awareness
That which we perceive, when processed by the human mind, may bear little or no resemblance to the object of our perception. The object’s truth may be obscured by perceptual filters formed from our life experiences, conditioned beliefs, and/or the ego. These filters are extremely powerful, and, through the illusion they generate, can make something seem like anything and block out everything else. So how we interpret what we sense or experience may have little or nothing to do with what was actually there. And, in many cases, we have no awareness of the difference between our illusional interpretation of things and what these things actually are. We believe that what we perceive, and how we interpret it, is the truth.
For example, if we grow up believing that God is an old bearded man who can do anything who lives amidst castles in the sky with a martyr son who died to save the world, and that we must believe in this or we will burn to death forever; because our parents or a pastor told us so; then we will likely develop a perceptual filter that dramatically influences, determines, and/or limits our perception of ourselves and the world. Everything we “see” will be through the limitations of these filters. Such filters create a kind of tunnel vision that makes it difficult to perceive anything beyond them (because we don’t believe there is anything else there, or we think everything else is “wrong”). They predispose us to struggles with inadequacy, unworthiness, fear, anxiety and/or depression.
More Examples
Additional examples of how our awareness can be limited by such perceptual filters could include control, victimization, or inadequacy issues resulting from sexual abuse (life experience), feeling unworthy due to objectification (conditioned belief), and inadequacy-based pre-occupation with being right, proving ourselves, or gaining attention/approval (ego). These limitation creators, the things that construct the perceptual filters (life experiences, conditioned beliefs, and the ego) can influence each other pursuant to both the establishment and the broadening/intensification of the filters.
Life Experiences: If a woman was sexually abused as a child, she will likely develop hypersensitivities to being in control, being treated fairly, and being right; which will distort her perceptions of herself and others pursuant to anything related to these sensitivities. She may not be able to perceive the truth of what occurs, or what is there. She might perceive a skewed version of it that supports, or agrees with, her experientially-based sensitivities. If this happens, then she would be perceiving, and then interpreting what she perceives, through the tunnel vision created by the filters.
Conditioned Beliefs: If the predator that molested her was her father, stepfather, uncle, or family friend; someone she has regular contact with and seeks attention and approval from; especially if the sexual abuse occurs repeatedly over time; she may begin believing that her worth, and the worth of others, come from their sexiness, or from having sex with people. She may think this because of the “special” attention she receives for doing it. If there were multiple predators, like a father and a family friend, then the likelihood that she will be conditioned to believe that her worth is tied to her appearance/sexuality increases. This means she believes that her value (and the value of others) is based on having a sexy body, dressing sexy, acting sexy, flaunting her attributes, looking pretty all the time, and giving people what they want. She does this to gain their attention and approval, because this is the way she was taught to get it, first by the predators, and then by our society. Objectification can also be thought of as the act of degrading someone to the status of a mere object — like a sex object — without even considering who they are on the inside, what they are like, what their goals, values, and beliefs are. It is like reducing them down to being a possession, like a diamond, a MacBook, or a Porsche. We are so much more than this!
So objectification (a specific type of conditioned belief) is a complex perceptual filter that causes us to believe that our worth is based on certain aspects of our appearance and behavior (e.g. looking and acting sexy). Such conditioned beliefs predispose women, especially attractive women, to promiscuity, infidelity, substance abuse, depression and suicide. They keep doing what they were taught to do to gain attention and approval; trying to feel better about themselves; and instead keep feeling worse about themselves because of their destructive choices. They may wake up alone, or with someone they don’t even know, after getting a temporary fix of attention at the cost of their soul. They place all the importance on their appearance, and what it can get them; and often believe they are worthless on the inside. They base the value of others on the same objectified commodities. Such conditioning, and the objectifying filters it generates, often lead to repeated mistakes that leave us feeling increasingly more inadequate and worthless; when we are doing what we are doing to try to feel better about ourselves (because this is what we were taught to do).
In this instance, the issues originating from traumatic life experiences mushroom into conditioned beliefs which limit our perceptions of ourselves and the world, and influence important choices in destructive ways. Our real value exists within us, comes from our spirit; and is not even considered when we are reduced to objects (“he’s sexy,” “she’s hot,” “she’s a steamy little sex machine.”). Although such a lifestyle (e.g. party girl) can be quite addicting, and filled with momentary pleasure; it often leads to a materialistic, superficial, destructive life of anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, and regret. It can also result in eating disorders, amphetamine and other drug abuse, sexually transmitted diseases, pathological lying, and suicide attempts. It can make sharing a healthy relationship really difficult.
The Ego: If this same woman developed intense preoccupations with being right, proving herself, and seeking sexual attention; then the issues initially generated by the traumatic life experiences, and then intensified by the conditioned beliefs of objectification, could form ego issues of inadequacy. Such ego issues cause the most powerful distortions, and their filters are capable of convincing us of anything, with no real way to find or clarify what is real. They can result in delusions that we believe to be the absolute truth. The ego can block our awareness completely, and replace it with whatever we want to believe. It creates the most powerful, pervasive, and persuasive perceptual filters; and can therefore have the most destructive effects.
Based on the examples from this courageous woman’s life, her ego issue of inadequacy probably grew out of her life experience of being sexually abused. Most of those involved in the research I have reviewed, and all of the sexual abuse survivors I have personally worked with, believe that they are unworthy, and that, in some way, it must have been their fault. It wasn’t. After such abuse, and its impact on our perceptions of self and others, we may become more vulnerable to predators, because we are blindly seeking attention and approval to feel better about ourselves, because we don’t think we deserve anything better, and because we were shown that sex is a way to get a lot of attention. We are blind in another way as well, because of the tunnel vision created by the filters. We only notice whether or not we are getting the attention and approval we are seeking in the moment. We are completely unaware of everything else, including predatory motives or compromises to the things that really matter to us (e.g. men getting us drunk, strangers walking us to our car at night, letting a stranger talk us into leaving a club with him and going to his house or hotel room after dancing sexy while drunk). If we begin using this method to gain attention and approval, we feel more and more unworthy, and try harder and harder to feel better through the objectification that has emerged from conditioning. After we compromise our values, beliefs, and morals enough times, we must find a way to avoid and deny what we have done, or we literally want to die. This is where the ego comes in.
The ego, an energy being separate from who we actually are, can create profound delusions, replacing both our life situations and the context surrounding these situations, with fictional stories that seem like truth. And it is so powerful and convincing, and comes with such a broad network of sub-issues and defenses to support its every move, that we could spend many lifetimes lost in its shadowy delusions. So, for those desperate to avoid and deny the truth about their choices, the ego offers them a hiding place in exchange for living through them and controlling their lives (without them even knowing it is happening). The ego is the darkness that obscures our awareness of the light, while convincing us that the darkness is the light.
Under the influence of the ego’s delusions, we unfortunately continue using the same destructive methods, except now our ego changes everything around to make it look different than it is (makes negative things seem positive, justifies and defends destructive choices, makes immorality and deviance seem like confidence building, etc.). The ego makes it even easier for us to continue doing the same destructive things, and even harder to wake up from the darkness of delusion. It broadens the scope of the delusion to the point that we can’t see anything else anymore. It offers “tools” to “help” us get our needs met, which, in truth, add layer upon layer to our snowball of pain, while strengthening itself in the process. Such “tools” might include issue-generated behaviors like being a know-it-all, acting arrogant, putting others down to make ourselves feel superior, or using our body to get attention; and defenses like raising our voice to control a conversation, discrediting or re-characterizing someone to make them seem like they deserve to be treated with disrespect or anger, flipping the situation around and blaming them for what we did, making ourselves the victim of something in the moment to make someone else responsible and help us avoid what we don’t want to see, etc. And no matter how far from the truth something is, our ego can easily convince us, with self righteous indignation, that we are right, that we are justified, that we are a victim.
Developmental Overlap: These perceptual filter generators (life experiences, conditioned beliefs, and the ego) don’t usually develop in sequence, or discretely. They usually emerge in an overlapping fashion. As the life experiences occur, the conditioned beliefs begin to form through repetition of thought and behavior. As the life experiences occur and conditioned beliefs form, the ego offers a hiding place and justification center, to “help” people get what they want and avoid what they don’t want, with little or no awareness of what is really happening, or the ways their beliefs, values, and morals are being compromised. Even though facing our mistakes can be uncomfortable, “the only way out is through.” Comfort is irrelevant. To change destructive habits and patterns in our lives we must first become aware of the truth about them, allow ourselves to feel the feelings this truth naturally generates as often as the feelings occur, accept responsibility for this truth, make amends where appropriate, forgive ourselves, and release the energy of our pain. Since the ego feeds off our pain, it will do everything possible to keep us from seeing and accepting the truth. It will fight to obscure reality to maintain its grip on our lives by keeping our problems alive and perpetually causing us to stumble. It will validate the distortions of the perceptual filters generated by our traumatic life experiences and conditioned beliefs.
Awakening
In order to awaken, we must become aware of the truth, that which exists within the light. We must consciously hold on to this truth at all times, and continuously seek to expand its breadth and depth. We must consciously distinguish between truth and illusion, never allowing ourselves the temporary gratification of avoidance.
There are many paths to awakening, and they all begin with opening our eyes. For some, meditation is a real lid-lifter. Others prefer spending time with a spiritual teacher. Traditional therapy might help, if the focus is on awareness of truth rather than just symptom reduction. Some prefer yoga. Couples often enjoy working with a coach, relationship educator, or doing couples yoga. Journaling can lead to greater self awareness. Mindfulness can increase our awareness of who we are, what we think, and what is happening right now.
Although awakening to the truth can, at times, seem scary, it will lead us to a healthier, happier life. It will allow us to heal and grow. It will unlock our potential, and make it possible for us to fulfill our real life purpose.
As universal light effervescently vibrates joy and radiance, as the galactic sun dances with red dwarves, blue giants, and purple nebulas along the way; as earth’s star brings perspective, climatic shelter, and life to the rays’ recipients; so too our spirit shines the truth for us to see. If we focus where the light shines, we will become aware of what is in it — we will awaken to the truth that it reveals. As we awaken further, so does the universe, through our interconnection with the oneness of it all.
Photo Credit: Prairie Kittin
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