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Seven Steps to Artful Dating

Seven Steps to Artful Dating

February 24, 2015 by Dr. Kai Swigart Leave a Comment

As the winds of change swirl mischievously beneath the cascading waterfalls of my life, gently lifting their aquadescent droplets into the heavens where they merge, as an arc, with the Galactic Sun; I got lost within the cosmic color fun. The inconsistency in my writing has been reflected in my statistical mirror. I have been busily drafting an innovative piece about vibrational healing, combining Ayurveda, quantum physics, and cutting edge technology in a natural healing method; and have been neglecting my blog. Sorry about that!

Soul Companion

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Many evolutionary seekers have been asking questions about dating lately. Since this is such a fun topic, and since it seems as though most are largely unaware; I thought it could be helpful to whisper you a rainbow through your stare.

  1. Rapturous Red: Make sure your basic needs are being met. If you have not met them yet, then do so and develop a meaningful relationship with them first, before taking the proverbial plunge into another. If you have recently experienced a trauma or loss, then take the time to heal before seeking companionship. Doing so will change the nature of your partner profile (you won’t be so needy or desperate/ you will feel more worthy and have higher standards).
  2. Overjoyed Orange: Acknowledge the euphoric bliss, realize that this is a normal and temporary state when hooking up with something new, and fight the urge to convert this idyllic infatuation into steamy sex and wedding bells post haste. This groin-tingling trance is a fantasy, a dream, sweet circumstance. Journal after each date or conversation, taking note of the strengths and red flags; and track the red flags over time (e.g. drinks too much, does not respect your boundaries, tries to cut you off from friends and family). Wait on the sex until/unless the relationship is where you want it to be. When you give it away, there may be little left to give.
  3. Euphoric Yellow: Be happy, confident, and direct. Do not play the people pleasing game. Make sure the person they get to know is who you really are. Otherwise, what if they don’t really like you when the makeup and manipulations fade?
  4. Gorgeous Green: Be true to your heart. As you learn about dating, study your courtship experiences, and add dazzle to your dreams; remember who you are and what you need. Do not sacrifice yourself for an ideal, a person, or an illusion. Take the time to really know what is happening, and be true to your self in the process.
  5. Blissful Blue: Communicate openly, honestly, and directly. If you want a foundation of love and trust, then your substratum must contain these elements. If you just want to play around and have fun, then design whatever stagecraft fits your fancy. Playing is fun too, but it is important to be open before you do.
  6. Impassioned Indigo: Trust your intuition. If you ignore your gut, then you may be in for a life of indigestion. Engage your higher level awareness in the mating and dating process. Sometimes it gets lost in the court and spark.
  7. Voluptuous Violet: Make truth and understanding a prerequisite of a serious dating relationship. Higher consciousness attracts higher love. Higher love encourages higher consciousness.

Although somewhat dated :-), a wonderful resource for this topic is “Searching for Courtship: A Smart Woman’s Guide to Finding a Good Husband” by Winifred Cutler, Ph.D. As the biologist who discovered pheromones, she brings the practical and playful dance of biology into view. Her approach is filled with dignity, grace, and fun. If you really want to get into it, she has a text and workbook to help you perk up your possibilities.

What challenges have you had in the dating world? What have you learned that you would like to share? Any tips to help prevent harm to others?

Photo Credit: pixabay

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Filed Under: Understanding Tagged With: confidence, courtship, dating, happiness, honesty, integrity, romance

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About Dr. Kai Swigart

Dr. Paul David Kai`makani`mele Swigart, known as Dr. Kai, is a therapist, spiritual teacher, and healer who resides on the Big Island of Hawaii. Through the traditional sense, Dr. Kai has a Ph.D. in psychology from United States International University, is licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist in California and Hawaii, and also holds credentials as Certified Employee Assistance Professional, Substance Abuse Professional, and Certified Arise Interventionist. From an alternative angle, Dr. Kai is a vibrational healing practitioner, crystal healer, and shaman. He is a student of Ayurvedic Medicine, Quantum Physics, and Jyotish.

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