When we think of love, romance, or long term relationships we often have certain pre-disposed beliefs about what makes them good, right, or acceptable to us. Strangely enough, many of these presuppositions are often based upon idealistic interpretations of fictional films, romance novels, or rose colored life experiences. Such cupidesque conclusions might precipitate a preference for a relationship containing sweet and steamy honeymoon hunger for life; the need to be with someone who is hot, sexy, and beautiful; a need for particular expressions of love and affection (like flowers, chocolate, or diamonds); or the possession of specific material things (like a desirable home, coveted car, or worldly wealth). I’m sure you can think of many other examples of pre-existing criteria for what would allegedly create a desirable relationship. Holding on to such idealistic illusions can set us up for a lifetime of disappointment and missed opportunities. It can cause us to ditch, or overlook real love possibilities because they did not seem to fit into our idealistic categories. It can also set us up for being dooped by those smooth, sociopathic types who know how to play the game long enough to convince us that they are what we want, when they are nothing more than mesmerizing stagecraft (if they look and talk the act, then we may fall for it because it looks like what we want). Or, we may swing to the other side of the spectrum, where we believe we are worthless and undeserving. This could cause us to see almost anything as wonderful (more than we deserve) (relating to a lack of self acceptance and its accompanying perceptual distortions).
In theory this may seem basic. But do we take the time to really think it through? When was the last time you honestly examined your own relationship desirability criteria?
I believe that each moment is a lifetime, the unfolding of a series of miracles, that cannot be replaced. “Moment” has no specific duration, as time is an illusion. When we discover the beauty of natural love, whether for a few precious hours of clock time or an entire treasured lifetime, it holds the meaning, truth, and beauty evermore. Some of you watch the TV series “Criminal Minds,” and may recall the momentary love shared between Dr. Spencer Reed and Maeve, a woman he had known briefly via the internet and phone until just before she died. Yes, this too is Hollywood, but I believe the love depicted here is an example of how each moment carries a lifetime within its grasp. There was something they shared that neither of them had been able to share before; and, although brief, it was real. Such a temporally limited experience can be a lifetime of finding, knowing, and cultivating love. It can change our life for the better, if we let it.
Just as each water droplet unzips light rays into distinctive, dancing rainbows; each moment holds a lifetime in its grasp. Allow its caress to forever brighten your spirit.