“In the heaven of indra, there is said to be a network of pearls so arranged that if you look at one you see all others reflected in it. in the same way, each object in the world is not merely itself but involves every other object, and in fact is every other object” Hindu Sutra
If material world love comprises the highest human principles; if its sacredness exists in order to awaken us to the beloved relationship between our higher consciousness and the universe; if spiritual love is truth; and if our purpose is to heal and grow, and help others do the same; then what can we do to grow in love? Tenzin Gyatso, The Fourteenth Dalai Lama, says “the purpose of life is to be happy.” He offers no definition of happiness; perhaps to avoid categorizing, or the misinterpretation that could result from perceiving words at different levels of awareness. By context, it appears as though he is equating happiness with the contentment that can be acquired through the giving and receiving of love and compassion. He also seems to be saying that it is the absence of pain and suffering.
Acceptance
So what is contentment? I believe it is another word for acceptance, beginning with self acceptance. I believe it is accepting the self without resistance, judgement, or attachment. This is the first step on the spiral staircase to love, and a prerequisite of true happiness. I believe that, when love and happiness (however we conceptualize them) are gained through self acceptance, they are sustainable through periods of pleasure and pain, riches and poverty, health and illness, ecstasy and agony. I do not believe that either needs to be a temporary state, contingent upon the egoic mind, its emotions, our sensory perceptions, or environmental circumstances. When its frequency is high enough, the scope of its awareness pervades our perception of all things. Unconditional love and happiness are made possible by unconditional acceptance (first of self, and then of everything else).
Seven Billion Worlds
The longer I am blessed with the privilege of caressing the majestic mountains, verdant valleys, and sultry seas of my resplendent earth goddess, and graced with opportunities to harmonize the mellifluous melodies of her flora and fauna, the more clearly I realize that we each inhabit a very different world. Our attempts to standardize, normalize, and categorize things simultaneously create the illusions of separateness and similarity. The illusion of separateness suggests that we are not interconnected and one, as spiritual beings, with all people, places, things, and times in the universe (spiritual). The illusion of similarity infers that we perceive or interpret material world experiences in the same or similar ways (mind). We are neither separate in spirit nor similar in mind. Our naturally occurring needs for preservation may coincide, like those of the oak trees, doves, or dolphins; but our mind’s interaction with internally and externally occurring information creates a unique and different world for each of us. Our pursuit of love and happiness needs to incorporate this uniqueness in order to be truly understood and realized.
Embracing Greater Uniqueness
Those experiencing more pronounced physical, neurological, mental, or emotional differences may encounter greater challenges in their pursuit of self acceptance. They may also receive accelerated growth opportunities. The more unique a person is within their society or culture (whether perceived or real), the more important it is that they accept themselves in order to be accepted by others and find true love and happiness.
Chicken, Egg, or Co-creation?
After accepting ourselves, do we need love in order to be happy, or is happiness a precursor to love? Is this a chicken or egg thing? I believe that happiness is sustainable, and that love is a continuous state of higher consciousness. I believe that the higher vibrational frequencies of each will contribute to the upward spiral of both. Our awareness of this process will depend upon our understanding of such phenomena, life experiences, and interpretations of these experiences pursuant to the level of awareness we have attained. However, higher vibrations attract higher vibrations (regardless of how they are defined), labelled, or perceived.
Happiness Attracts Happiness
So, which comes first? A recent article posted at sheknows.com says “One of the best ways to attract love into your life is by feeling and projecting happiness.” This statement, like the overall article, suggests that happiness comes first. It seems like the author is drawing a parallel between love and relationship satisfaction. Perhaps this is what material world love means to many of us. It also infers that we “attract” love into our lives (rather than creating it through self acceptance and a pursuit of higher consciousness). This sounds more like relationship satisfaction following a mating ritual. Although sweet and dreamy, does this really generate happiness or love? Here we are, back at the definition again. I guess the most important thing is to clearly understand what we are doing and why.
The Vanishing Staircase
Elevation of the frequencies of love requires a greater understanding of its dynamics and influences. Imagine a spiral staircase ascending first through the earthly dimensions, and then through the spiritual realm until ultimately reaching the conscious infinite light of truth. Envision each upward step vibrating at a higher frequency. Picture a fly’s wings when stationary and when in flight. When motionless, we can see its wings, but when it starts to fly, its wings disappear. This is because the wings are vibrating at a frequency that is too high to be perceived by our human senses. Our visual perception of the wings is limited to a particular frequency range, like that of our hearing, which is limited to a low of 20 Hz and a high of 20,000. All human sensory systems have such limitations in their range of perception. The range of these systems, including the sense organs, nerves, and brain; are primarily determined by biology, and usually deteriorate over time. Our ability to interpret what we perceive, however, can improve even when the physical systems decline (e.g. when the measured acuity of our hearing declines, we may have trained ourselves to hear subtle distinctions, like abilities developed in an ear training class in music school, or while mixing tracks on ProTools HD; which may be retained when the sensory system deteriorates).
Our conscious awareness has no such pbiologically determined limits. Although we can only perceive things up to the level of awareness we have attained, we can always raise this level higher. So if each upward step of the staircase vibrates at an increasingly higher frequency, then there will be a step, for each of us, where the staircase seems to vanish (like the wings of the fly). However, unlike our sensory systems, we can learn to raise the vibration of our consciousness higher, which brings higher steps into view.
Getting It Up
So how do we do this? How do we elevate our consciousness? How does this lead to higher love and sweeter sex? Based on our current level of awareness, we must discover and hold on to its truth (awareness of truth). Then we must accept this truth about ourselves (self acceptance). Then we must satisfy our survival basics (real or perceived). This will help us transcend existential struggles, egoic illusion, and negative emotion, such as depression and anxiety. When satisfied, the brain shifts us from Survival Mode into Safe Mode, expanding our range of thought, possibilities, and courses of action. Once in Safe Mode, we are able to begin truly accessing those things that lead to love and happiness. Each of us is highly unique, and needs to become keenly aware of the truth about ourselves, our needs, and how things affect us. What elevates love and happiness for me may not do so for you, or you may require different prerequisites or sequences of realizations. The details of the truth are the key. That said, there are some general practices that appear to elevate the vibration of our consciousness.
***If we do not heal our mental and emotional maladies, then what seems like love and happiness will be limited to temporary periods of pleasure or gratification. This is because we will continuously and unpredictably be shifting back and forth between Survival Mode and Safe Mode, preventing the occurrence of true love and happiness, while creating fear, anger, and instability in our lives.
Here are some of the general principles and practices that, once mental and emotional wounds have been healed, will raise the vibration of our love and happiness:
- Sharing an intimate relationship
- Giving
- Exercise
- Appreciation
- Exploration
- Resilience
- Purpose
- Choose the positive
- Oneness: Be part of a larger process (spiritually or physically) like universal consciousness, a healing community, or a garden
- Practicing gratitude
- Helping others
- Start over every day
- Meditation
- Affirmation
- Read
- Stretch and grow
- Simplify
- Daily fresh air and sunshine
- Notice beauty in the present moment
- Follow happiness prescriptions
- Quotations and mantras
- View mistakes as growth opportunities
- Develop spiritually
- Relevant yoga (see happiness article)
- Healthy nutrition
- Choose love and happiness
- Forgiveness (daily/of self and others)
- Do what you love
- Healthy social contact (even if with one healthy person)
- Kindness and compassion
My next post will playfully portray how sex is made deliciously sweeter and more satisfying when consumed as the decadent dessert following a savory and satisfying entree of higher love. 🙂
What practices have helped you attain higher vibrations in love and happiness? What has helped you sustain them across time? How have you overcome the disruptions to their continuity?
Photo Credit: Ian Clifton via Flickr
Thanks for this Dr. Kai. I am curious, what do you think of passion? Do you think living passionately will raise the vibration of love and happiness? Thanks – Aaron
Aloha, Aaron. It depends upon what you mean by passion, and how it is directed. People usually mean a strong emotion, or something we desire intensely. If we use these definitions, then it could work either way (raising or lowering vibrations). If someone is passionate about molesting children, smoking ice, or overeating; then their passion will probably lower their vibration. If they are passionate about yoga, exercise, or helping others; then their passions may raise their vibration. Have a mellifluous Monday within the light of truth brightens your spirit, and shines through the eyes of your heart! 🙂
Aloha Dr Kai. Thanks for answering my question. What I hear you saying is that passion, like love and happiness, can be uplifting once mental and emotional wounds are healed. So here’s why I am asking this, because passion to me involves a mixture of intense suffering and intense love/happiness all in one. When you, Dr Kai, feel passion, do you also feel this suffering as well? Did you know that passion comes from the latin “patere” which literally means “to suffer?” What I am getting at is can suffering in the form of passion raise my vibration? (I agree with you that yes it can, when wounds are healed). The Dalai Lama’s quote, “the purpose of life is to be happy” may be partially true for me, and like you said, he gives no definition as to what happy means, but I do know that Buddhism strives to end suffering in all sentient beings. Does that mean ending passion as well? Personally I would say my purpose in life is to live passionately, to merge suffering with happiness to create something new and meaningful, to combine the low vibration (bass) with high vibrations (treble) to create a song, to blend harmony with dissonance to create a masterpiece, to face my shadow as well as my light. I think worshipping one side of a pair of opposites while suppressing the other (think light better than dark, positive better than negative) only creates more imbalance. Do you understand what I am getting at here? I would love to hear your thoughts. Mahalo! – Aaron
Aloha, Aaron. Mahalo for your question and comments. It is so very difficult to clearly understand what another is referring to, based on perception, interpretation, definition, etc. In the material world, I believe that creation is light and shadow both; and through this contrast its picture is possible. But, even in the material world, I believe the purpose of the shadow is to help us see the light. In the spiritual realm, I believe there is only light, vibrating light, conscious infinite light; and that our spiritual goal is to discover it, and realize that we are already one with it. Yes, happiness can come from suffering, but I believe it occurs to help us, by contrast, discover non-suffering. In my opinion, to dance with darkness, see it as the bass within an acoustic watercolor, or valuable in a photograph is to remain rooted to the lower vibration of earth current; and prevent our ascension to a higher vibration. I believe our ability to perceive this is linked to the level of awareness we have attained. I, too, see passion as having either light or shadow elements; and believe we should direct it into the light. People could continue spinning around in dark cycles for lifetimes, and this is preventable. Have a thoroughly terrific Tuesday! 🙂
Dr Kai, thank you for your insight. I feel like I understand you much more clearly now. Many Mahalos for this interaction and for sharing your perspective. Take care and aloha! – Aaron