“I’m over it. I refuse to be around your anger and alcohol any more.” she said calmly, shades of relief and hope highlighting her words. “C’mon Baby, I’ve put up with so much of your shit over the years, and this is how you repay me?” he queried, mildly agitated, digging out the guilting tool from his closet of egoic stagecraft. “You have put up with a lot, and so have I; and I will always love you; but I don’t want to live with you anymore.” she expressed earnestly, to the pitch of strong emotion, eyes sincere and welling up. “C’mon! Let’s be real! I felt like leaving you so many times, and you always talked me out of it. You talked me into staying, and working things out; and now you won’t give me a chance to change your mind. We’ve been married for ten years, I thought marriage was forever, this just isn’t fair!” he asserted sharply, growing agitated, now using the manipulation wrench to torque the drama. “This is different! I just don’t want to be around your anger anymore! I am getting a divorce! I’ve been telling you this for six months now, and you just don’t seem to get it!” she cried fervently, defensiveness and anger on the rise. “FUCKING BITCH!!!” he exploded angrily, jumping up and pacing wildly around the room; like a ravenous, caged tiger when discovering the scent of bleeding prey. “If you’re so over it, then why did you fuck me last night? Talk about mixed messages! I should have dumped you years ago! I put EVERYTHING into US, and now I have NOTHING! You are so fucking crazy!” he raged on, now introducing intimidation, distraction, and desperation into his histrionic art. “This is exactly what I’m talking about.” she stated calmly, regaining her composure, before standing up and walking out the door.
For a myriad of reasons, couples may choose to tie the knot and cut the cord. This has and will probably always be the case. I have my theories, and so do you, but when it happens, let it be with love and grace. The tumultuous turmoil, calamitous kerfuffles, or raging rhapsodies that so frequently accompany breakups; the hurt that shelves dismembered hearts and dreams; can be prevented, the broken lives and victim screams.
Many hook up for less than sustainable reasons, do their best to walk the walk and talk the talk; but when illusion shudders under truth’s intrusion, out pops the TRO and changing of the locks.
Remember when you met that sexy angel, wearing a jeans mini skirt, black high heels, and white ruffled, less than low cut, belly free top? Remember her long, shapely legs, perfectly rounded little ass, and bulging breasts? Remember the curvy contours of her body, long curly hair, and teasing laugh? Remember how she cocked her head to the side, stared hungrily with those bedroom eyes, and danced against your bumping, grinding lust? Remember when you first met your prince charming, in his worn-out jeans, tight shirt, and combat boots? Remember his beefy chest, cute ass, and biceps? Remember the strength of his arms, sweet smile, his taste? Remember how you were both lost in the flames of steamy desire, intoxicated by a spell of wanton lust? Remember when you left your best friend’s party, so hot-to-trot, so concupiscent, so hypnotized? Remember the raw and juicy sweet sex rhythms, where more than fantasies were formed until the dawn? You recall these intensely physical and emotional details so vividly, but what else do you remember about meeting your partner? What did you know about them before indulging your erotic itch?
*Notice how just reading amorous words can draw your attention away from most other things, create a surge of arousing emotion, or initiate a visceral reply. If merely reading words can capture your enchantment, then what could dancing, teasing, or kissing be followed by? The ecstatic blisses of great sex are addicting for sure, but are they grounds for a healthy, lasting relationship?
Although good sex is not the only untenable rationale for starting relationships, it is, believe it or not, the one I hear of most. Other flawed motivations include financial security, fulfilling fantasies, gaining status, doing drugs, and getting even. Those who connect under healthy, sustainable circumstances may themselves encounter tragedy, grow and change, or lose their way. In my professional opinion, if people consummate their union based on love, trust, respect, and common goals; which requires taking the time to get to know each other; they stand a better chance of weathering the storms. But, no matter how effectively a relationship begins, or seems to be; it could always end. If it does, then it is best to end with love. Acceptance, rather than resistance, judgement, or attachment; will help with trauma, loss, and letting go with love.
You might also enjoy:
- Questions To Ask Yourself Before Ending A Relationship
- How To End An Unhealthy Relationship
- 7 Steps To Stay Positive After A Divorce
- 15 Habits Of Healthy Couples