“I am totally working on mastering that move,” she sweetly simpered. “Really?” I asked, “How many hours did you practice during the past week?” “Well, I haven’t exactly started yet, but I am so stoked on being a professional dancer! I told my family, friends, and FB fans, and everyone is so excited for me!” her mildly defensive mannerisms melting into delighted animation. “Hmmm … but if you don’t follow through with your daily routines, how will you even learn the basics? You have been saying the same thing for a year now, and, although you are a super hottie with tremendous potential, your skills have not improved. You can’t become a professional dancer by talking about it.” “No worries, I’ll do it,” she murmured seductively, “Now let me show you one of my favorite moves,” as she tossed her head and went down on her knees. Growing hot and bothered, I anxiously muttered, “I thought you wanted to be a real dancer,” pushing her angel face away, jumping up, and walking briskly out the door.
One simple, yet critical element in our attainment of success is completion of the steps that take us there. Whether to score a dreamy marriage, amazing job, or enlightened lifestyle; there are things that we must follow through and do. This seems obvious, right? But you would be surprised to discover how many people just talk about doing something, while never getting started; and act as if, because they have spoken the words, they have actually done the deed. Unless confronted, many will swear that they have done, or are doing that which they have never yet begun. Is this delusion, denying, wishful thinking, or just plain lying? This, in my opinion, is one of the primary reasons people fail to realize their ambitions. Three major missions commonly undermined by such inaction include relationship, career, and spiritual development.
No matter how blissful, winsome, or mellifluous it may be; for a relationship to last, both hearts must break. Like our gluts and quads when pumping on a limit-pushing leg press, the smaller fibers tear and grow back bigger than before. Within our metaphoric heart, the scanty strands comprise egocentrism, selfishness, and greed. Real love strengthens our heart, breaking old, limiting habits and replacing them with new and bigger ones. Such transformations require continuous effort, through exercises in things like self awareness, skill building, and communication training; and, once attained, need ongoing practice to maintain them. Since relationships are dynamically changing systems, it is important to realize that your relationship (whatever its current condition) will be different next week, next month, and next year than it is right now. As people grow and change, their union will as well. This is normal, healthy, and positive. Many interpret such changes as a threat, and seek to return things back to the familiar steady state. A couple must work together to garner and preserve the strength needed to thrive; and then they must also labor to support the growth and change. Just as our bodies become hotter, stronger, and healthier through regular exercise, so do our intimate partner relationships. And, no matter how mesmerizing, hypnotizing, or mind-blowing that steamy sex can be; it is no substitute for the work needed to insure a healthy, loving relationship.
To discover, develop, and maintain a satisfying job, we must work and work and work and work and work. When passionate about our vocational selection, it may not feel like work, but it is. We must first go through a process of gaining self awareness, self acceptance, and self assessment in order to know who we are, what we can do, and what we love. Then comes the research (pursuant to pecuniary viability, market saturation, universities, trade schools, etc.). Once identified and secured, the daily commitment to study, practice, or train begins. After investing the requisite time, energy, and finances into this process, we may arrive at a career that brings us joy and meets our needs. When I was eight, I realized that I loved helping others and playing music. While struggling through the collapsing corridors of adolescence, this vision held. So, I went to college for 14 years, attaining two Bachelors degrees in Music Therapy and Counseling Psychology, a Masters in Psychology, and a Ph.D. in Psychology (Bull Shit, More Shit, Piled Higher and Deeper 😉 ). I worked in agencies, insurance companies, and for the military before establishing a private practice in Hawaii by the sea. Although this rendering does not begin to capture the effort poured into this process, I think you get the picture. Throughout its evolution, I clung to the love of my vision, never faltering, until its realization exceeded my fantasies. When work is the love in your heart it comes naturally, joyfully, and beautifully; but it is still work. No matter how much we love something, we must apply ourselves to its creation for it to become; and then maintain it through exertion, sweat, and tears.
Enlightenment comes to those who practice looking inward, letting go, and then connecting with the cosmos to create. This requires education, training, and continuous practice. Many learn the language, rituals, and appearance of the awakened; but fail to take the first step toward its light. Daily practices of meditation, yoga, and journaling are examples of effort needed to raise our vibrational frequency up to truth.
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