Some insatiable sensualists seem to say that sex is similarly satisfying whether we are in a loving relationship or not. Recent research, millennia of literary renderings, and years of clinical practice suggest otherwise (sorry guys). Research reveals that gourmet sex, the quality kind that occurs within loving relationships where partners share deep emotions, vulnerabilities, and trust; gives birth to greater happiness, health, and lasting love.
In my dating and courtship coaching, which is sweet fun, I regularly educate people about the illusion, confusion, intrusion, and failing fusion that routinely results from jumping the gun (or hot body beneath you). Since sex, to the human brain, mimics meditation; when sharing this bliss-blowing ecstasy, we are telling our brain that we are safe, calm, and happy. But are we? Having sex before we get to know someone and establish a real relationship creates the illusion that our relationship is further along than it actually is. This happens physiologically (in the brain), psychologically (in the way we think about it), and emotionally (in the way we feel because of what we do). This confuses our body, mind, and heart into believing that we are in a serious relationship before we even really know the person panting in our face. After our premature consummation, it is often hard to break it off; either because we have been tricked into believing that he or she “is the one,” we are addicted to the great sex, or our partner is pressuring us to continue because of their insecurity. Such mistakes often lead to the worst nightmares ever; resulting in domestic violence, stalking, or a life-long dead-end relationship; all because we couldn’t keep it in our pants until we knew the panter. With all the diseases, whack jobs, and violence out there; don’t you want to know what lurks beneath those bulging breasts or biceps before you go and give it up to them? Sex with someone else should be based on love, not human sacrifice, right? Until or unless you establish such a safe, loving relationship; you would be better served eating rocky road (so you are not forever tripping down one).
Since research shows that sex generates numerous health benefits, until you are in a real relationship; where you are safe, loved, and cherished (like a marriage should be); you may want to consider getting toys to take care of yourself. This does not mean that you are a failure or a freak; it means that you are educated, wise, and healthy. And you can still enjoy the rocky road.
- Anxiety and the Brain: 25 Routes to Safety Link
- Gourmet Sex Brings Health and Beauty
- Five Exercises that will Strengthen Your Relationship
- Cuddlers, Rejoice! Science Proves That Sleeping With Someone Else Is Good For Your Health
Photo Credit: deviantART