Happy people in healthy relationships share a threesome in the service of their love. Every couple is a triad; every double is a triple; every duet is a trio; play along. Three components exist within every union: you, your partner, and your relationship as a unit. Effectively balancing these relational elements will create another trilogy for life: Happiness, harmony, and health.
Many fail to realize, when consummating their couplehood; that both parties have their wishes, wants and needs. In my experience, either we are all about our partner, ignoring our own needs; or we are all about ourselves, oblivious to the fact that someone else is waiting patiently beside. Developing awareness of what I call “couple mindedness,” expanding your considerations to include those of both you and your partner in all things; helps establish fairness, balance, and the harmony of hearts. “I am craving hummus, pita bread, and tabbouleh. How does this sound to you?” “I am ore in the mood for herb crackers, cashew cheese, and dates. What do you think?” “Wow! That sounds tasty too! Either one is fine with me.” “Yeah, they both sound awesome! But I’m not really craving anything, so let’s go with the hummus. Sound good?” “OK, but are you sure that’s good for you?” “Yep, it sounds great.”
The third part of the threesome is the relationship as a unit; separate from each of the individual lovebirds. When people invest in what is best for their partnership, this may take them away from what they would normally do for themselves. This perspective involves mind, body, and spirit; and manifests in thought, word, and action. It involves compromise, sacrifice, and selflessness for the greater good of the relationship. But we must be careful not to take it too far in any direction. If too much is invested in the relationship at the expense of either or both individuals; then there will be an imbalance. If too much importance is placed on either or both of the individuals to the detriment of the relationship; then there will be an imbalance. Mindfully orchestrating this trio will lead to a healthier, happier life. “Since we have a free hour now, I was thinking about playing my guitar.” “I could work on preparing that sleep tincture.” “Ya know, it would really feel good to just hang out and snuggle with you. I have been feeling a little distant lately.” “Me too. We haven’t had as much time to connect as usual.” “”I can play my guitar after my last session.” “I can deal with the tincture in the morning.”
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Nice article and insightful