Whether scoring a hot date, getting into a great school, or landing the job of your dreams; it’s a numbers game; so saddle up, bust your ass, then climb back on. Fears of failure, anxiety, or self doubt may keep us from getting started, or persisting toward the things we want and need. Fear is an uneasiness or apprehension about anticipated pain or danger, usually accompanied by an urge to flee or fight. Anxiety is essentially the same sensation, but with fear the threat is real, and with anxiety it is imagined. Self doubt is often experienced as a lack of confidence, the illusion that we are unworthy, or a belief that we are stupid, useless, or bad. When caught in these mind traps, we may forget that it could take numerous failures to succeed, and that each failure is a measure of success. Trying is succeeding if we keep trying until we get there. Failing is not trying, or giving up.
Grandiose expectations, usually born out of unresolved issues; may keep us from recognizing our soulmate, gig, or paycheck when they were waiting there beside us all along. Issues like inferiority, rejection, or losing control often generate defenses of superiority, avoidance, or control; distorting perceptions, clouding judgment, and changing choices. Such invisible hitchhikers can emerge out of trauma, abuse, or critical parents. They may also derive from one’s race, ethnicity, sexual preference, religion, disability, or neurologic uniqueness; when different in some way from the contextual norm. If we carry such nefarious baggage, then our know-it-all attitude, evasiveness, or overly controlling style may distract us from discernment, preclude our possibilities, and drive away our disappearing dreams.
So ditch the drama, do your research, set realistic goals; and then push yourself, no matter what it takes. When those fears and doubts start surging, crying, trying to deter you from the dreams that you can see, hear, smell, and taste; feel the fear and do it anyway, view your failures as steps forward, and remember its a numbers game, make haste.
Photo Credit: Melody Campbell