As life mellifluously meanders, passionately plunges, and calamitously crashes along; there may be times when we could benefit from connecting with others. During our times of need, we may want their help, or long for their companionship but, for whatever reason, refuse to ask for it. We might be too shy, anxious, or avoidant; embarrassed, humiliated, or prideful; we may fear rejection, abandonment, or judgement; or be unwilling to give up the illusion of control (or a plethora of other possibilities). We might be more comfortable giving than receiving. Or, we may be super strong and capable, and always end up being the one others come to to be lifted up by, or to lean on; while we, ourselves, have no one who does this for us. We all have a family member or friend like this, or are this person ourselves. Whatever the case, we could benefit from taking the risk and asking others to help.
Be Careful Who You Ask
This doesn’t mean we throw caution to the wind. Making use of our wisdom, discernment, and awareness of others, we can figure out who is safe to ask. In other words, are they reasonably solid people? Would their motives for helping us be selfless or ulterior? Do they possess the resources or commodities we are seeking? Would we be willing to do for them what we would like them to do for us? If we are uncertain, then we could ask a trusted friend for their opinion. Sometimes when we ask a friend what they think, they become the one who fulfills our need. Thoughtfully taking such risks can also broaden our base of support and sense of community. It is okay to be selective. Just be yourself, and try to let your spirit flow freely.
So if you need money, a babysitter, or the use of a car; a temporary place to live, food, or medical care; go down your mental list, or write their names down; and then ask. Just ask. Eliminate the sketchy ones, and those obviously lacking the resources, and then just ask. It won’t always work, but sometimes it will; and even when we don’t get the practical things we are seeking, we may obtain something better; like personal growth or a deeper friendship.
In Matters of Love
Nothing gets our hearts pounding, thoughts racing, or issues tweaking like the mystery and magic of romantic love. If we are not currently blessed with a healthy, fulfilling relationship, but really want one, then asking might just do the trick. You could ask her or him out to dinner, to a concert, to the beach, to a barbecue, or for a bike ride. If you do, and if it works, then don’t talk about how excited you are about getting into a relationship. Just talk about normal stuff, like you would with your friends, and enjoy the experience and getting to know them a little. Leave enough room for them to share, and enough space for reflection. Fight the urge to fill the silence with mindless chatter. If you haven’t found anyone you are interested in, then you may want to ask a friend to do a little matchmaking! If you have a friend who loves and respects you, who would love to see you even happier; and who has some decent contacts; then ask them to hook you up with a honey! What’s the worst that could happen? Doing this could strengthen your friendship, and end up being the best thing that ever happened to you! Don’t be afraid to ask!
Photo credit: Mo Riza